


Finger Snaps and Embarrassing Secrets

by Happy_Ocelot



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blank Period, F/M, Fluff, Post-Chapter 699 (Naruto), Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Post-The Last: Naruto the Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28286169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Ocelot/pseuds/Happy_Ocelot
Summary: Naruto finds out that Hinata doesn't wear bras. Hinata finds out that Naruto wears frog-patterned boxers. They should have just gone to Ichiraku and avoided this mess...
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Kudos: 41





	Finger Snaps and Embarrassing Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote for a request...
> 
> Enjoy and please review. :)

It was a beautiful night. The crickets chirping in tune with the cool winter breeze were a stark contrast to the furious slurping of Ichiraku Ramen's Number One Customer.

The only one slurping louder than him was his fiancee, the former Hyuuga clan heiress, also known as Konoha's Ramen Eating Champion – a title she'd gained after polishing off forty-six bowls of miso ramen in a single sitting and winning the top prize in the contest.

Naruto sighed with a mixture of admiration and envy as Hinata demolished her final bowl of the night. There was absolutely no sign that she had given her stomach an extremely intense workout.

"Thanks for the meal, Teuchi-san, Ayame-san," she said politely. "I know why Naruto-kun eats here all the time."

Old Man Teuchi and Big Sis Ayame beamed at Hinata. Naruto may have been their Number One Customer, but…

"Hinata, I think you're Ichiraku's Number Zero Customer," Naruto laughed, witnessing their camaraderie.

Everyone turned around to stare at him.

"Number Zero Customer?" Ayame repeated. The statement was borderline incomprehensible, after all.

"Oh, ya know...I'm your Number One Customer, so Number Zero Customer is even better than that," Naruto explained airily.

There were no longer any slurping sounds, just the crickets chirping in the background.

The strange things that Naruto would say...

"Right, Ichiraku's Number Zero Customer," Hinata said cheerfully. "I'm definitely not ranked lower than Number One, am I?"

Once again, the only ones to have anything to say were the crickets.

She was as strange as he was.

They were a cute sight, though. Naruto simply unclasped his Gama-chan wallet and dumped all of the contents onto the counter. He'd taken to emptying out his entire wallet nowadays. A meal with Hinata at Ichiraku was always something in the thousands range lately, as the couple had taken to frequenting the place several times a week for dates.

"So, um...I owe you...one...two...three..." Naruto began manually counting every single one of the dozens of bowls on the counter.

"Six thousand ryo," Ayame said briskly, being far better at mental math than he was. Naruto dutifully forked over the cash, and he and Hinata waved good night as they left.

They rounded the corner, walking in companionable silence; at least, until Naruto broke it. "Say, Hinata..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you..." Naruto shuffled his feet nervously. "Do you feel like we spend too much time at Ichiraku?"

She simply stared at him, her expression open and curious. "No. Why?"

"I mean, we've been having dinner every other night at Ichiraku, ya know? Don't you want to go...anywhere else?" He looked at her uncertainly.

The truth was, Hinata loved ramen just as much as Naruto did. One did not down forty-six bowls of it without having a deep love for the food.

"Hmmm, Naruto-kun," she said with what could only be described as an uncharacteristically sly smile. "Are you...jealous?"

"Jealous? Of what?"

"That _I'm_ Konoha's Ramen Eating Champion and not you?" Her eyes twinkled mischievously. She was never a prankster like Naruto, but she was slowly learning how fun it could be.

Naruto's face turned a bright cherry red. Yes, being a prankster was well worth it if it allowed her to witness such a hue grace his face.

"W-what?" he spluttered. "I – I'm not – _jealous._ "

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun," she said in a deceptively saintly voice. "I won't leave you for Ramen-chan. You're my one and only."

He pouted at her. It was so cute and funny that she burst out laughing.

Naruto gave her an exaggerated, comical scowl, clearly aware that it made him look ridiculous.

Hinata's laughter increased in intensity.

She couldn't help it. The silly faces he'd make never allowed her to mask her smiles behind her hand. He was always drawing them out into the open, for the whole world to see.

"Hinata."

She was almost crying now.

"Hinata! Wow, you're so mean, ya know."

But now _he_ was laughing because _she_ was laughing.

Hinata counted to ten and finally got her breath under control.

"Naruto-kun," she said, her hand on her chest, smiling. "If you really want, we can go somewhere else tomorrow."

He brightened up immediately. "Really? I guess it's settled then!"

He enthusiastically slammed his fist into his palm, a happy gesture he used as frequently as when he'd rub the back of his head in embarrassment.

"So?" she prompted. "Where do you want to go?"

He blinked at her. "Oh...I, um..."

Clearly he hadn't thought beyond Ichiraku at all.

"I'll let you know tomorrow! It'll be a surprise!"

* * *

"Naruto-kun...you know, you don't have to do this. I love ramen too..."

"No, we have to go somewhere else besides Ichiraku once in a while, ya know!" He pulled her along the dark street as the moon bathed them in cold, milky light.

"Where are you taking us, anyway?" she asked, rather amused by his eagerness.

She would have rather spent another evening at Ichiraku – the place was just so cozy and homey, and the ramen was in fact addictive – but humoring Naruto for a little bit couldn't hurt. They _had_ gone to other places and they weren't bad or anything. They'd always had a good time.

They'd finally reached their destination. It was...

The theater? Naruto wanted to watch a play?

She'd never have thought he was interested in plays. Usually, he was a movie kind of guy.

Then she spotted the poster on the wall.

"Naruto-kun," she said. "Don't tell me that we're going to see that new play for Icha Icha Paradise."

While Naruto was not a fan of his master's best-selling explicit book series, Hinata had actually read the first installment of Icha Icha out of sheer curiosity and bizarrely enough, she found herself taking a liking to it. What could she say? Jiraiya-sama was a talented writer. The descriptions of Tamago and Moyashi's one true love were fun to read about.

She would never admit that, though. Some things were too embarrassing to talk about. Not everyone was like Kakashi-sensei, boldly reading those books in public for everyone to see.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked back at her. "What? No, we're going to a hypnotist's show!" He pointed at another poster on the wall.

She frowned. A very tacky woman wearing a bright pink dress, top hat, and gaudy horn-rimmed glasses waved back at them.

_Welcome to Yui-sama's World of Dreams!_

"Hypnosis isn't real, Naruto-kun."

Naruto shook his head vehemently. "This lady's the real deal. She's a retired ninja who travels the world and does hypnosis shows with her genjutsu, ya know!"

"Hypnosis...with genjutsu?"

"Yeah! I'm her biggest fan, and I know that you'll like her too!"

As they bought their tickets and walked into the room hosting "Yui-sama's World of Dreams," Hinata couldn't help but notice that they weren't the only ones gearing up to watch this lady. Her show was attracting a massive throng of people.

In the center stage was the ninja hypnotist herself, Yui. Unlike her photo in the advertised poster, she was thankfully dressed much more sensibly in a pale green kimono and with no top hat or gaudy glasses. Her dark hair was elegantly tied into a bun.

Naruto and Hinata settled into the front row seats. Thankfully, in the dark of the room, no one paid them any mind, allowing them to sit down without groups of Naruto fans mobbing them and asking for autographs.

"Welcome, dear audience!" shouted Yui in an extremely dramatic voice. "I, the great Yui-sama, Mesmerizer of the Land of Noodles..."

" _Land of Noodles?"_ Hinata whispered to Naruto. "Where is the Land of Noodles?"

Naruto's high regard for this mysterious "ninja hypnotist" suddenly started making a lot of sense to her.

Her fiance blinked at her. "You don't know, Hinata? It's somewhere between Suna and Kumo. Or maybe Iwa and Kumo? I kinda forget, but it was awesome and there were all the different types of ramen in existence over there, ya know. And this lady..." He lowered his voice. "This lady, she's some kind of fortune-teller hypnotist ninja. I met her back when I was fifteen."

Hinata's skepticism mounted with every new sentence. Naruto was far too naive and trusting and would most likely lap up whatever nonsense a "fortune-teller hypnotist ninja" would spout. Especially if she was from the Land of Noodles, home of every type of ramen in existence.

"Naruto-kun," she began. "You shouldn't get so easily duped by whatever this person does..."

"Shhh," he whispered enthusiastically. "It's going to start now."

With a sigh, Hinata activated her Byakugan. She could easily tell if "Yui-sama, Mesmerizer of the Land of Noodles" was a fraud or not.

"Ninja Art: Hypnosis Jutsu!" Yui yelled, waving her hands around theatrically (Hinata noted that she made absolutely no hand signs).

And...nothing happened. The audience stared at Yui for a full five seconds, then burst out in peals of laughter. Except for Naruto, who was staring at her as though she held the secrets of the universe in her hands.

Yui didn't seem to care that the audience thought her a laughingstock. "The effects will be visible in fifty minutes!" she yelled, her voice magnified a hundred times with ninjutsu. "And now, we will move on with the show! I will read your future by gazing at your palms. Those who are interested, please line up!"

A mad dash of people stampeded onto the stage. Didn't they just laugh at her moments ago? That was weird.

"Yui-sama, read my life line!"

"Yui-sama, read my travel line!"

"Yui-sama, check my mercury line!"

"Naruto-kun?" she asked. He was still staring at the "hypnotist ninja" avidly as though she would suddenly sprout a third arm.

He raised his fingers in the seal of the tiger. "Release!"

He turned towards her with a big grin. Hinata just blinked at him, finally deactivating her Byakugan.

"Naruto-kun, that...wasn't real hypnosis," she said. "She didn't do any genjutsu. I would have noticed if she did with my Byakugan."

He shook his head vigorously. "No, no, her genjutsu can't be detected easily by the Byakugan. It's slow acting and the chakra fluctuations are so tiny that you won't have any idea what happened until it's too late!"

That sounded like a very convenient excuse. Oh well. Naruto always humored her whenever she insisted only on wearing light pastel purples, pinks, and grays to their dates, because somewhere along the line, many years ago, she was convinced that those were her "lucky colors." He'd always smile and tell her that orange was his lucky color too. He never made fun of her. She resolved not to tease him for his frankly irrational belief in "Yui-sama" either.

"Don't you want to…?" She gestured towards the massive line of people waiting to get their palms read.

"Ahaha, why, though, Hinata?" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head. "I already _know_ that I'll become Hokage and live happily ever after with you, ya know. She doesn't need to tell me that."

She couldn't help but smile as they left the theater arm in arm half an hour later.

* * *

The moon was twinkling coldly at them from the night sky, casting rays of fluid, silvery light down the deserted street.

A light pool of disappointment settled into her chest and slowly seeped into her stomach as she realized that the Hyuuga compound was around the corner.

The night was nearing its end and she would have to part ways with Naruto, at least until morning.

Morning was so far away, though. A whole eight hours away. The clock might as well have been made of lead.

"Hinata? Are you okay? Hinata?"

She vaguely heard a snapping sound somewhere under her nose. She blinked, her mind finally back to the present. Naruto was staring at her in some concern.

"Are you okay?" he repeated. "You kinda spaced out there for a few seconds."

Morning was so far away.

She grabbed Naruto's bandaged, prosthetic hand. "Naruto-kun, can we go back to the theater? I really want to see Icha Icha Paradise."

"Huh?"

"It's actually a really good book, Naruto-kun," Hinata explained. "Jiraiya-sama is a great writer."

He stared at her in shock. His ears had acquired a faint tinge of pink.

"You like Icha Icha?"

Hinata felt a ping of annoyance. Why did Naruto make her repeat herself? She proceeded to drag him back in the direction of the theater.

"Hinata?" She was holding his hand in a death grip.

" _Hinata."_ Naruto snapped his fingers under her nose again and breathed a sigh of relief as she finally stopped in her tracks, a most peculiar expression on her face.

"Hmmm? What's wrong?" she asked, observing his red ears.

"Hinata, I didn't know that you were into Icha Icha!" Naruto laughed. "It's always the quiet ones..."

"...Icha...Icha?"

Her ears were ringing with a hollow, tinny vibration.

How did he know that she liked Icha Icha? Surely she didn't tell him.

"...Don't know why it's so popular, ya know..." Naruto's voice seemed distorted and indistinct. He was speaking right into her ears and yet it sounded as though he was miles away. "First Kakashi-sensei, now you..."

Naruto... _knew_...that she liked...Icha Icha…

"...Even though it's totally boring. What's the second book called? Icha Icha Violence? I think I have it somewhere in my house..." He snapped his fingers for the third time that night and pointed his index finger towards the sky. "I can lend it to you if you want, ya know!" He smiled at her sweetly.

...And he was offering to give her the second book in the series.

"That would be good," she found herself saying. She clapped a hand over her mouth.

What was wrong with her? Why was she blurting out embarrassing stuff like this?

"Actually, I don't know how, but Jiraiya-sama was correct about how uncomfortable bras are in the book. That's why I don't wear them anymore."

Naruto's head shot up and his eyes bugged out. "You don't wear bras?"

Blood filled her face, her neck, her ears...everywhere.

She just told Naruto that she didn't wear bras. After telling him that she liked Icha Icha.

Someone kill her now.

The world was spinning. Why was the world spinning?

"Hinata? Hinata!"

They should have just gone to Ichiraku.

She fainted.

* * *

Hinata woke up to a scratchy sensation on her forehead. Oddly enough, it felt just like the coarse linen of the bandages which were usually wrapped around Naruto's right hand.

She opened her eyes. It was, as she suspected, Naruto's hand on her forehead. His face broke out into a big, sunshine-bright smile when she blinked up at him.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake. You gave me a big scare, ya know?"

The moonlight cascaded down his face, giving his blonde hair a molten silver glow. She looked around, taking in her nocturnal surroundings.

Naruto had settled her down on a park bench. His left arm was securely wrapped around her shoulders and she was practically pressed into his chest.

 _His chest_.

Her earlier words rang in her head.

" _Actually, I don't know how, but Jiraiya-sama was correct about how uncomfortable bras are in the book. That's why I don't wear them anymore."_

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed. "Hinata, you look like you're going to be sick."

"It's...never mind," she muttered, not able to meet his eyes. "I don't know what came over me, why I just suddenly started rambling about all of that..."

"I told you, Yui-sama's hypnosis is the real thing." Naruto scratched his head sheepishly. "But I don't know what set you off..."

The only thing that registered in her mind before her mouth took on a life of its own was…

She groaned and hid her face in her hands.

"It's because you snapped your fingers, Naruto-kun. Whenever you did that, I blurted out the most embarrassing things."

Blood pooled under Naruto's cheeks. "Yeah. Is everything you said – "

He broke off upon seeing the ashen look on Hinata's face.

"Anyway!" He scratched his head again. "Um..." He cast about for any way to alleviate Hinata's mortification. "I know! I'll tell you some of my most embarrassing secrets too! That way we'll be even!"

"Naruto-kun, you don't have to..."

"No, no, it's fine." His blue eyes narrowed in determination. "Here goes, embarrassing secret number one. I...I wear frog-patterned boxers."

A beat of silence as Naruto gauged Hinata's reaction.

"That's not very embarrassing," she muttered.

"Yes, it is! I'm wearing some right now!" he insisted.

Her lips twitched.

Naruto plowed on, encouraged by the tiny gesture. "And...and I have totally embarrassing daydreams of you..."

"Not very embarrassing, Naruto-kun," she repeated. "I also daydream about you."

His cheeks turned red again. "I practice what to say to you in front of a mirror! And then I comb my hair a hundred times!"

"So do I," she retorted. "None of your secrets are nearly as embarrassing as mine, Naruto-kun."

He frowned at her. "What's so embarrassing about liking Icha Icha and not wearing bras? You know I wouldn't make fun of you for things like that, right?"

"What's so embarrassing about wearing frog-patterned boxers? I wouldn't make fun of you for something like that either."

Naruto spotted the opportunity.

"Promise me with a fist bump," Naruto declared. "Say, 'I won't make fun of your frog-patterned boxers.'"

He held out his fist expectantly.

She gently rapped her knuckles against his. "I won't make fun of your frog-patterned boxers. Now it's your turn."

Naruto took a deep breath. "I won't make fun of you for liking Icha Icha and not wearing bras, ya know."

A short burst of silence descended on the couple. Naruto gently ran his thumb over the back of Hinata's hand.

That was...not as painfully embarrassing as Hinata had imagined.

"Want to go to Ichiraku?" he asked.

They should never have gone anywhere else in the first place, but it did lead to her sitting on a park bench with his arms wrapped around her, practically pressed into his chest. So maybe it wasn't too bad to have gone to see a hypnotist show.

And morning was too far away.

Her thumb idly wrestled with his.

"Okay."

They set off down the moonlit path together.

"Ya know, I'm definitely gonna beat your record this time, Hinata," said Naruto, hands crossed behind his head.

"Only in your daydreams, Naruto-kun."

"Daydreams come to life, ya know!" he yelled.

His daydream did not come to life. Ichiraku's Number One Customer was soundly defeated in combat by Ichiraku's Number Zero Customer.

Gama-chan starved to death again, as it did during every Ichiraku feast with Naruto and Hinata.

And sooner rather than later, Hinata stopped being embarrassed about not wearing bras, and Naruto stopped being embarrassed about wearing frog-patterned boxers.

Naruto gave Hinata a copy of Icha Icha Violence.

And it turned out that Yui-sama, Mesmerizer of the Land of Noodles, was the real deal, after all.


End file.
